When our friends and acquaintances found out The Hubby was leaving for three and a half months, many of them offered their help. They volunteered to cook meals, help with chores, and watch my older boys.
I always thanked them profusely for the offer, but never believed they would actually do anything. It's not that they aren't kind and caring individuals; they certainly are. It's the whole once bitten, twice shy thing.
When I was pregnant with Baby N., I was very, very sick. I had a pregnancy disease called hyperemesis gravidarum, or HG. (For more info, visit http://www.helpher.org/.) HG is a debilitating form of nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. It is NOT morning sickness. The best way to describe it is this: imagine having bad food poisoning every day for three to nine months. Imagine throwing up water the instant it hit your stomach. Imagine being unable to eat or drink anything without the help of several medications. Now imagine this while trying to grow a baby and placenta and five extra pounds of blood. That's HG. Correction: that's a MILD case of HG.
When I was sick, very few of my friends helped me. There were two who really came through and helped me and my family consistently, and with great love and compassion. One of them baked my birthday cake and brought it to my home after I spent a day in the hospital receiving IV drugs and fluids. It was the first thing I'd eaten in over a week. I love this friend so much just because of that.
I'm working on letting go of my hurt feelings about all those people not helping me and Hubby when we desperately needed it. Maybe we didn't ask clearly; maybe, since I was so socially isolated, most people had no idea how sick I really was. (I think that's a big part of it.)
The point of this digression is this: I had no expectations about help during Hubby's time away. But I was going to clearly ask for it anyway.
I have never been so glad to be wrong.
I took the children to Mass this morning, and actually got there on time. At the end of the service, two friends of mine from Church came over and immediately began helping me dress the children. One of these ladies then invited us to her home for lunch.
We spent several hours at the L-ergs house, being fed and spoilt. A.L. told me she is going to stop by once a week and help me with chores (during time she would have been taking care of her own home and family). I was delighted, of course -- I am so utterly startled by this generosity. Then she hauled a large suitcase of baby clothes out of the basement and gave them to me. Her husband packed them in my van.
I needed groceries, but Little I. fell asleep in the minivan, so we went home. I put a roast in the oven. I was good for supper, but we needed milk and eggs and bread and cereal. I swallowed my pride and called my friend C., asking if she could watch the children for an hour. Even though she was packing her house for a move in a month, she came right over.
I shopped for groceries all by myself. It was almost as peaceful as a day at the spa.
And to add to all that wonderfulness, my friend D. (the one who baked that birthday cake) has offered to take my boys one morning a week so I can run errands with just the baby. This woman is at home with a toddler and a 3-month-old.
I am stunned, truly stunned. I prayed last week for help, and for the humility to accept it when offered. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for answering the prayer about help. As for humility, I know I'm a tough nut, Lord, but I promise to try to keep saying "please", "yes" and "thank you!"
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