Thursday, April 08, 2010

I will stumble, I will fall down, but I will not be moved



This song was my theme during the earliest part of my pregnancy, when I was fighting with all my heart and will and prayers to avoid hyperemesis gravidarum. I posted it on the blog in November, when I was alone with the kids, pretty sick and not ready to tell my family and extended friends about the pregnancy. It was the only way I was comfortable expressing the battle in my life.

I used to sing it in my head while throwing up. "I will not be moved. I will NOT be moved... upon the rock of Christ I stand, all other ground is sinking sand."

Today, it has been more than a month since the last time I vomited. I worry more about iron and heartburn than nausea now. I no longer take anti-vomiting medication.

This is a miracle. A miracle! Great medical care certainly helped make it happen, but I have no doubt that my health also comes from the intervention of God and the prayers of my patron saint and fellow HGer, Saint Gianna Molla.

In less than two months I will meet my smallest son. After N., I never throught I would have the courage to welcome another baby, but here I am.

Do not give in to fear. Do not allow the Prince of Lies to confuse you with it. Feelings change, but the truth does not. I've learned we need to make our decisions based on truth, logic, planning, calm thought, prayer... and the rock of hope.

If anything, I've learned to always and forever hope.