Saint Gianna Beretta Molla, mother of four, obstetrician and pediatrician when most women did not go to university or hold professional careers (especially mothers!), loving wife, fellow HGer, brave and tenacious woman willing to risk her life for her child, faithful follower of our Lord Jesus, pray for us!
This song was my theme during the earliest part of my pregnancy, when I was fighting with all my heart and will and prayers to avoid hyperemesis gravidarum. I posted it on the blog in November, when I was alone with the kids, pretty sick and not ready to tell my family and extended friends about the pregnancy. It was the only way I was comfortable expressing the battle in my life.
I used to sing it in my head while throwing up. "I will not be moved. I will NOT be moved... upon the rock of Christ I stand, all other ground is sinking sand."
Today, it has been more than a month since the last time I vomited. I worry more about iron and heartburn than nausea now. I no longer take anti-vomiting medication.
This is a miracle. A miracle! Great medical care certainly helped make it happen, but I have no doubt that my health also comes from the intervention of God and the prayers of my patron saint and fellow HGer, Saint Gianna Molla.
In less than two months I will meet my smallest son. After N., I never throught I would have the courage to welcome another baby, but here I am.
Do not give in to fear. Do not allow the Prince of Lies to confuse you with it. Feelings change, but the truth does not. I've learned we need to make our decisions based on truth, logic, planning, calm thought, prayer... and the rock of hope.
If anything, I've learned to always and forever hope.
Warning: The above video is graphic. Imagine Mary having to watch them do this to her Son! Imagine watching them do this to your child.
This is the heart of Christianity. Make no mistake, being Christian is not something safe and comfortable. It is accepting that the Creator of the universe loves you personally so much that he would become human for the express purpose of allowing evil men to do this to him, to save me and you from our hate, evil thoughts, actions and words, from our greed and selishness and self-centredness. He took our punishment, for our sake. As Christians, we're asked to sacrifice our comfortable hatreds and sins for him in return.
Not completely Biblical or cannonically correct, (as if the Lord worried about rewards!) but still captures the intense human-ess and fear our Lord must have experienced that night. And also shows how God can take our anger and fear.
Thank you, Jesus, for Gethsemane -- and thank you for walking me and so many others out of that garden of fear. I was afraid, and I thought I might be dying; you showed me there are far worse things than risking death for the one I loved.
